Wandering mind...

I'm sitting at my desk, trying to edit a fact sheet about reducing red tape around business regulations (snore) and just took my rings off to put hand cream on. Looking at Dan's ring my mind started wandering back to the wedding day, how amazing it was. I wanted to tell Dan that we will have so many more days as wonderful as this one and that life is beautiful but then I remembered that I can't tell him. 

 I can't 'get to him' because his act was so final and he's gone. I felt such panic that I couldn't reach him and tell him and save him. If I could have reached him or known what he was thinking that morning I would have been able to pull him back. I can't believe that he's gone. Forever. I just can't believe it. How can it be?